Donuts Made Me Cry Today

Donuts made me cry today.

I wasn't expecting it,

but it happened.

*A little back story...

It's the time of year when emotions are high.

Mother's Day just passed,

the school year is ending,

graduations have begun,

and Father's Day is around the corner.

Generally happy occasions.

It was a tough start to this past weekend.

When you think you've moved a few steps forward,

only to realize that you have to take a few steps back again.

I recently saw a post saying that we get 18 summers with our children.

I get the message, 

with a blink of an eye, 

they are no longer our children anymore.

They will graduate high school,

go to college, 

and be independent people 

living lives of their own.

I do get that.

But the post hit me in a different way.

In some cases,

that's not entirely true.

Some cases,

children do grow up,

but they don't go to college,

they don't lead independent lives,

at least not entirely.

and 18 summers may last a lifetime

and beyond.

That worries me.

It worries me a lot.

I know there are things I cannot control

but I would just like to feel confident that things will be okay.

I'm not at that point yet. 

And raising a disrespectful teen

that lies hasn't been easy either.

I know I should let personal hygiene 

and room cleanliness go,

but lying about it is disappointing.

Where did my little boy go?

And who is this rude person that has taken his place?

I know I am a good teacher.

I am struggling to be a good mother.

The weekend wasn't all bad.

D and I went to watch a wonderful movie (Raya and the Last Dragon)

in an actual movie theater.

Walked Burger all weekend.

Didn't eat out once.

The Dodgers swept the Giants and 

spent a lovely Sunday morning walking and chatting at the Arboretum. 

Back to the donuts.

After the Arboretum I went to one of Mom's favorite Mexican markets.

I wanted to buy some fresh chicharron.

I always do when I go there.

It was something mom always bought to share with me.

Not healthy, but something we both enjoyed.

It's a comfort food for me now.

On my way to the market,

I drove by mom's old neighborhood.

I passed by the tiny donut shop that she use to talk about.

I had never seen it open before,

but this morning it was,

and there were donuts on display.

I remember mom saying that it was never open when she went,

but one day she managed to get there

and bought a donut, I think it was a fritter... and liked it.

On the way back from the market,

I stopped to get donuts for the boys,

just one.

When I arrive at the store front,

there were no more donuts left in the display case.

I don't know why I didn't just leave,

but I decided to inquire.

A young man appeared and asked who the donuts were for.

Strange.

When I told him for my sons.

He said, "I got you."

Then he proceeded to tell me a story,

one that I am sure he has told many times over...

The Story Behind the Donut Shop  <--click here. 

Short summary:

It's not just a donut shop.

He has one message to share: Moms are the hardest working people.

He was a caregiver to his beloved grandmother.

He loves meeting people.

He makes the best apple fritters.

He opens from 5:00am till sold out, usually 9:00am.

The shop is not his passion,

serving people is.

It was nearly 11 today.

After sharing his beautiful story

and telling me that moms are appreciated and that I was wonderful and hardworking,

he went back into the kitchen and came out with two boxes.

He wouldn't accept my money,

told me to not look in the boxes until I got home

and to remember that moms are the best.

I could feel tears begin to well up.

I left with the two boxes.

I cried on the way home.

It had been a tough month as a mom and I missed my mom.

I wish she were here.

And here was this stranger telling me how wonderful I was because I was a mom.

It felt like mom was there.

When I got home I opened the boxes with the boys.

I was hoping to find an apple fritter (it's my favorite donut, but only if it's a good one)

No apple fritter.

It's his specialty so it didn't surprise me,

but what I did find were two boxes of delicious donuts and a few croissants,

gifted with love and appreciation because I was a mom.

By the way, the strawberry ones were pretty incredible.